002: SEL: It's who you are and what you do with Dr. Krista Leh

EPISODE 002 HIGHLIGHTS:

• Defining SEL and deconstructing some myths around SEL
• SEL is not a program and more than a lesson plan: It is who you are and what you do every day.
• Modeling SEL ourselves and leveraging that to change the power dynamics in learning spaces
• Examining our connections with students so they can show up as their authentic selves
• Taking a collective, strengths-based approach to SEL that involves self, staff, students, and families

EPISODE 002 RESOURCES:

• Follow Krista on social media: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Resonance Ed website
• PASCD 3-part webinar series: Cultivating an SEL System for Student and Staff Synergy Academy

EPISODE 001 TRANSCRIPT:

Krista: Welcome everyone to this episode 2 of SEL in EDU. Hi Craig!

Craig: <Laugh> Hey, Krista how's it going?

Krista: It is good. It's a Saturday morning. I think you and I have a ton of energy that is not really contained in any one direction.

Craig: <Laugh> that would be true. That would be true. 

Krista: But I think we had talked about the first couple of episodes were just them getting used to us and who we are. But we're excited to bring on some guests to dig in and really talk about where SEL shows up in education and in all the different ways that it can show up.

Craig: Yeah. And so today I'm excited because I have the opportunity to interview you so that the world can learn, just get a couple of glimpses into who Krista is to the world that we have here. And so pretty excited.

Krista: I'm excited as well. So I know that we had, we often talk about, do we come up with some questions or do we just kind of wing it? And you're like, well, what if I just ask you some questions? And so I'm off for that. So let's just see where this goes.

Craig: Awesome. Well, let's go there's a great quote by one of our education leaders who I regard highly. He's the author of many things and he just released the children's book. You know, how to think and like a coder and he has this quote, “All you need is one person to believe in you and the world is yours.” Just one. And so I'm curious, who's that one person, and I know that it’s probably many people, but as early as you can think about it…Who is one person who lit that fire ignited that fire in you that has driven you to be who you are today?

Krista: Wow. Wow. Like, do I go back to elementary school?

Craig: I'm leaving it open-ended.

Krista: Dang. You may have silenced me because I have all of these different people come in. And so here's how I'm going to answer that. All right. I truly believe that there are different people who come into your life at different points and provide opportunities and entries for you that you may not have ever thought about before. And so, as I'm talking about that, I am going to share that one of the biggest “AHAs” of my life was when I had a principal named Chris Shafer who came to me one time when I was seven years in teaching. He said the state of Pennsylvania has a grant that allows for people to get involved in what they're calling “Classrooms for the Future,” where you become an instructional technology coach. And we're going to apply for this grant. 

Krista: We're one of the schools that is kind of behind in it; there are other schools that are ahead. Would you be interested in this position? And up until that point, I never thought I was going to have a life outside of the classroom because I loved being with the students so much. It was an absolute joy to wake up every day and to go in. And I taught 10th- and 11th-grade social studies - World History and U.S. history from 1850 on. And I never, ever, ever imagined I was leaving the classroom. I thought I was going to retire when I was like 89 years old coming into the school. Like, this is what I want to do. But up until that point, I know that I always played it safe. I liked to stay in spots where I felt comfortable. I very rarely pushed myself to do something out of my comfort zone.

I went back to teach at the school that I graduated from as an example. And I thought I was going to retire there. And I thought, “Wow, I don't know technology. I got through my master's program, not even creating a PowerPoint because I didn't know how to use it.” And he said to me, “You are able to connect with people. The content will come, but you have a rapport and that's what we need.” And I thought, “Well, wow, I'm really going to regret this if I don't give it a shot.” And I opened myself up and I said, “Sure, I'll do this.” What I didn't realize at the time is I actually thought I got to be in the classroom and be a coach at the same time when actually, that meant I had to give up my classroom, move into an office, let somebody else have my favorite content areas, favorite kids, everything. But I did it and it opened up a whole new world to me that I didn't even imagine would be possible for me in education. Mmmmm… that's really not where I thought I was going to answer this question. <Laugh>

Craig: Well, I appreciate what you've shared. It sounds like he was a pretty great coach to kind of lift that up so that you could see that more clearly in yourself - and look at who you are today. I mean, you are a coach to hundreds of leaders and educators across the world. And, you know we were in a conversation earlier today and it was one of the participants for our conversation. She had shared that in her experience, men generally don't “do” SEL you know, they don't do the sociable thing. And I joke cause I'm like, “Oh, that's Feelings!” You know, I want to just cue the music!  FEEEELINGS… <singing> You know, I know you know the words! 

Krista: I have to add in, for those of you who are listening to us, we are also video recording this. So pop on over to YouTube Channel (posted in the comments) so you can see Craig dancing. And can also see we are wearing matching colors today too. 

Craig: Yeah. Just forgot my butterfly headgear (side note: Krista has a butterfly headband)  but I will make sure I have something dope next time <laugh>. Well, one of the things that I when I think about this and I think about what (our friend) Ginger said… when I think about men in our work that we are doing around social emotional learning, sometimes we think, okay, this is that feeling stuff. And, you know, we don't teach about feelings because we're expected to be very stoic and we're supposed to stay strong. We are not supposed to display emotion. But one of the things I continue to think about, whether or not it's through my PE coaches when I was in college (I played tennis and I also played volleyball)... but it made me think about John Madden. I'm sorry, John wooden, who said, “A good coach can change a game. A great coach can change a life.” So I wonder, well, I don't even have to wonder because we are here today and we have this opportunity here with you - to know that a great coach can change a life. And so with this gentleman, you know, elevating your awareness to how great you are and that you still can impact thousands of thousands of lives with youth beyond just your own given classroom, that your classroom is the world. And so I'm grateful that this has been part of your life journey. 

Krista: What I'm thinking about now - what you say really resonates with me because I have three teenage boys, right? And so when I got interested in social, emotional learning - and I was interested in it before I knew what it was actually called. It has been part of education for hundreds of years, even though people think it's something new. It used to be called character education, and before that, values clarification and even affective education. So, it's not something new. But it definitely deserves renewed focus and people think of it “I have to spill my feelings.” Well, I'll be totally honest with you. I'm not all that great at spilling my feelings either <Laugh> to groups of people. It's hard - you're putting yourself out there and there's a whole other conversation we could have on that. Being vulnerable doesn't mean that you dump everything out for people. As a facilitator, there has to be a purpose behind what you're sharing and why, and it's not a therapy session, right?

There's a moment for the story, but I think there's a misconception around what SEL is. It's self-awareness, and there are lots of components there about recognizing your emotions, but then knowing your strengths, your identity - your cultural and social identity - and also having a growth mindset - and that you can be impactful, that you can be successful. Self-management is how do you respond to those emotions in a way that's going to help you get the outcome that you want <laugh> and then goal setting and working towards that. So there are emotions involved, but it's about goal setting and planning. It's also about connecting with other people and being able to navigate conflict. It's about problem-solving and decision-making. There are so many other pieces there beyond “Let me spill my feelings out to people.” And I think that it gets a bad rap because people don't truly have a deep awareness of what it is.

Craig: Yeah. It can be as complex as you need it to be, but it can be as simple as thinking about empathy being a life skill and not a lesson plan. Right? 

Krista: Oh gosh, yeah. SEL is who you are and what you do.

Craig: Someone smarter than I probably came up with that, but it is - at that basic level - how do you get on ground level with your own humanity? And recognize that sometimes just listening and being present is all you need to do is be able to reflect back to people. This is “What I'm hearing and understanding you saying is. This is the body language that you're displaying at this time. Can you help me to understand why you are showing up in this way?” And just getting curious because sometimes we overanalyze and over-process things because we are so concerned about our ability to understand or manage whatever comes our way. Yes. The emotions that come with our own vulnerability, you know, that's also centered there, like, “Am I good enough?”

And it's like, where's all of that coming from? And that goes back to our childhood, our youth, us being teenagers, and who the people around us are. We hope to build that personal individual ecosystem that you eventually walk out into the world with. And so it has me thinking. Krista, you are a champion of SEL. And I'm curious, I don't think I've ever really asked you this question. What or who ignited that fire? Did that start in your early childhood years in your own family? Did that broaden from there or did that show up as a classroom instructor? How did you say, “You know what? This is what I want to do. One of the things that I want to do in igniting the world is this social, emotional learning.” So what ignited that passion for you?

Krista: When I think back my family history has been around service. When I look at members of my family on both sides, it's been about serving the community, which I think is interesting. My great-grandparents came from Mexico City on my mom's side to Bethlehem, PA to work in the steel mill. The town was picked and they said, “Hey, we have jobs for you because One, we know you can work long hours and you're hard-working. Two, you're used to the heat. Three, you're not going to argue back because you don't really speak English. When I look at my family, they're teachers and nurses and doctors and public servants.

That was something that's always been sort of ingrained, “How are you going to give back?” But I didn't actually think I was going to be a teacher. I wanted to be a psychologist or psychiatrist. People's stories were really important to me and their history - finding out what made them think the way that they did. I actually entered college as pre-law because I thought I wanted to go into international law - to travel and learn people's stories. But then somebody said to me, “What are you going to with a pre-law degree if you don't go to law school?” And I'm like, “Ooh, I don't know. So then I'm like, well, maybe I'll be a history major.” And then, so I switched. Then I realized, what do you do with a history degree besides research?

And I did not want to do that. I remembered the teachers who had an impact on my life and I thought education… that's a way of serving. I picked social studies and knew I wanted to work with teenagers because my teens were hard. It was confusing. And I had great friends and great family. But I just remember being like, “Wow, what is happening here?” And so I wanted to come back because I loved social studies, but I loved being with the students more. I loved being a part of their journey and growth. And having my own kids then, and especially them being boys, I wanted to help foster them so that they could become strong, independent, caring, compassionate, young men. Notice I said, strong and caring and compassionate, because to me, strong is caring and compassionate. Yes. And put that out into the world.

Like if you're watching [on YouTube], you're seeing the sign language movement for “Same. Me too.” I think it was just kind of ingrained in that public service and giving and being able to support other people's journeys forward. So many mentors in my life have turned around and done that - from middle school and high school teachers to counselors, to friends where we support each other. Right. Like it's not you have to do this on your own. Or I got here on my own, but it's “How do we go together? How do we help each other become the best versions of ourselves?”

Craig: Yeah. Wow. It just thinking about your family, you know origin story being from Mexico and your interest in international law pre-law - it sounds like there was some interest in advocacy as well because I know that there are people who are immigrants themselves are trying to do the best they can, and they want or believe in is their own American dream. They want to create and nurture their own families that are enriched by cultural traditions and values and things like that. So that is very powerful to then know that you all have a personal constant centered on service and giving back. That's pretty powerful.

Krista: I think that education as a system does not evolve as quickly as some other systems do. And I think that's something that you and I have in common, right? That we want to support students whose voices are not heard or students who are not allowed to show up as themselves in any situation. And often I think of, “Whose voice is not being heard and how can we allow people to show up being themselves and feel valued for who they are?” And as I say that, I want to just explicitly say, I'm still on that journey. I still make mistakes, but I'm learning and growing. I want to be an advocate and ally and accomplice for people because my life has been relatively smooth, but I have family members who have had a lot of difficulties and barriers. A lot of my friends have experienced those barriers and I want to be able to, through my role in education, bring light to that and honor the strengths that other people are bringing. Even if those systems may not inherently see that right away. There are such ingrained structures that they present barriers to the access that many of us have.

Craig: Yeah. There's a need for educational leaders whether or not you are school principal, you’re superintendent, you’re a central office leader... there is a responsibility for us. Because I am actually also a school leader as well. You’ve said in one of your talks, your workshops that “Students have to be at the center of teaching and learning and so they can thrive. When policies and practices are part of the foundation and expectation in every classroom, school, system, district, community. When we know that our student's educational experience is centered on SEL skills that are modeled, that are fostered, they are developed and codified, that they're going to be in a sustainable.” 

We continue to provide a community experience that nurtures those skills over time. So they become great global citizens, but schools have to have a long-term plan of action this is part of the foundation. This is part of your work, the viability of what our young people will come to understand as their educational experience.

Krista: Yes. And it needs to be collective. We as educators, can't do it alone. We need student voice. We can't create an educational system without inquiring from the community. What skills do they value and do they need? We can't do that without talking to the families and building upon the strengths and the skillsets that they have - and think “How can we leverage that? We need to talk to the students about the experiences that they're having and how, the way that our systems are set up is that promoting them to achieve, like helping them achieve their goals, or are there some barriers there? I think sometimes when our structures are already in place for so long, we don't see them anymore. We just assume that, well, this is the way it's always worked. But we need to really look at is what we're doing, serving our students.

And when we take it back to social emotional learning, I think there's this fear around what it is anymore and what schools are trying to do to kids when it actually, what are we doing for kids to help them be successful, to help them have these life skills of knowing who they are and what they bring to the table and knowing how to respectfully interact with other people, how to make responsible, caring, ethical decisions for a community. We're not telling students what to think. We're asking students to talk about how they're thinking and to learn how other people are thinking and how we're connecting and showing up for each other. 

Craig: It starts with creating a safe or a brave space in order for them to actually then go down those roads and explore those feelings to really tackle some of the tough stuff. You have to ensure that students feel safe first. That means creating an environment where they can take risks emotionally and academically, that you are building a community where empathy is at the center of what we do. Then, we foster that environment where our young people learn how to actually have conversations, how to be able to engage in productive conflict. How do they actually advocate for themselves, even if they feel like they're the quiet souls? How do you actually help those who are quiet? And sometimes marginalized, also be able to advocate for themselves in ways that will allow them to move forward in life. And it’s super important that each educator, each family member, you do your part too, in empowering young people to be them be their best selves. But first I know for me, I have to feel safe in order to do so. And, so I think that’s a part of the big recipe with some of the work we do in SEL.

Krista: Absolutely. And so, part of what that looks like is that it's cyclical in nature. We can't create that safe emotionally and physically safe environment for the students unless we take a look at our role as educators - what our role is and how we're contributing to that on a daily basis because we have our emotions at our feelings, too. Sometimes I know even with my boys. I might be having a bad day and I get snappy with them. Well, me getting snappy with them is not creating an emotionally safe place for them. And so then it's acknowledging putting my ego aside, because we all have that ego and saying, “I messed up, can I have a do-over? I apologize and I'm going to do better.” And involves changing the power dynamics that sometimes traditionally happen in a classroom.

Krista: And thinking about how are we contributing to that environment? It just doesn't happen on its own. We have to be active participants in that. And that's where the modeling of the SEL comes in. We're not perfect; we're human. But we need to be able to acknowledge our mistakes and our missteps - and be willing to open up about that for our students and tell them we're going to be better. And, I think it also means understanding and checking our own biases because we grew up in different times there were differing family values - or what we saw on TV - that might not be the same as our kids that are showing up in schools. How are we thinking about the connections we're having with our students so that they can show up as their authentic selves and feel safe? It's okay that we don't necessarily see eye to eye on our ideas and our philosophies, but we need to treat each other with respect and dignity because of our humanity. And that is what is shared.

Craig: Absolutely. Wow. I am brimming with so many things that I would love to just kind of go into it, but I know we don't want this particular conversation to go too long. Because you know, some folks probably are listening to us while they're at the grocery store, you know, they may be taking a nice walk. And so I want to make sure I move us along, but I'm curious about where are people getting it wrong or maybe there are some misconceptions about SEL. Knowing you are leading this work, you are meeting with school communities across the country and you are engaged in some very rich conversations and dialogue. You're hearing people, you know, parents talk about their perspectives on social, emotional learning. So, what are some things that people should be aware of in regards to the misconceptions that come with our evolution in this work?

Krista: I'm so excited that you just said that because I am embarking on a three-part webinar with PASCD over the next couple of months focusing on social emotional learning. Our first webinar is about deconstructing the myths of SEL on February 23rd. We're going to talk about what are some of those misconceptions and how can we debunk them? I think that a couple I'm just going to throw out there is that it is all of our responsibility to focus on social, emotional learning, and support our students. It's not just the counselors; it's not just the health and PE teachers. We have a part to play and we all can play a part to our strengths and to the context of our classrooms. I think that supporting SEL means that we model that and that we're conscientious about it. We’re reflecting on our own skills several times throughout the day and monitoring and adjusting. I think that I worked with the school district who said once, “SEL is taking the stress away from our kids.” No, because stress is a part of life. And stress can be good. Getting nervous about something and feeling slight stress is what motivates us to keep moving forward. But stress is a part of our lives and I'm not talking about anxiety and the type of stress that hinders your ability to function. That's a whole other topic, but SEL is about helping our students navigate through those challenging times, navigating through conflict and stress and difficult decisions. And knowing that they're not alone - that they have skills that they can build on and people that they can come back and check in with.

I think the other big misconception right now is SEL is not critical race theory. It is not something that is being put out to take over the minds of our children. It is not linked to socialism. It's about our students building life skills that the job market is saying are important. Do our students know their strengths? Are they able to recognize and manage their emotions so that they can contribute to group processes? Can they have respectful, kind conversations with people? Even if they disagree on something, can they problem-solve with a group of people and make responsible, ethical, caring decisions that will support and promote a community instead of tearing it down. 

This is why we have this podcast. So we can keep digging into these amazing pieces. But I would like to say, please register for the PASCD webinar series that's coming up and we will drop a link where you can do so in the note section of this podcast episode.

Craig: Wow. Well, I look forward to definitely tuning in so I could hear more about some of the, you know, some of the really just whack-a-doodle things that people think about in regards to social emotional learning. Way to have that conversation. We will need to bring some friends in for that one. Because I'm like, “Are we serious?”

Krista: <Laugh> Where did this come from? Yep. Let's deconstruct that.

Craig: Wow. <laugh>

Krista: And I'm happy to be able to do that with you.

Craig: Gosh. I'm like, whoa, come on, people. Come on, socialism? All right. Now. Yeah. Get your SEL. Okay. Now I'm not going to go down that road. <Laugh> So Krista you know, as we close out this episode which has been pretty amazing you know for my soul – for those who are listening today and they're trying to broaden their SEL backpack, for those who are really trying to move the world forward in a very positive way - to move our selves, our families, our classrooms forward. Social emotional learning is at the center of that in so many ways. If people take nothing else away today if they're just saying, “Okay, you know what? I have been teaching in the classroom for 25 years, all I knew was character education. And, we had the different character traits that we celebrated each week or each month. And we centered our work there. This social learning is a whole new world that I don't know what to do with.”

If they are really trying to turn their wheels and they really are trying to move the world forward. What are a couple of things that you hope will encourage people when they carry their backpacks with them today? What kind of moves the work forward?

Krista: The first thing I would say is social emotional learning has five competencies, and there are descriptors or indicators under each one. You do not have to be responsible for doing all of it. But I do think, especially as educators and as parents, we need to do something. We need to own some of that to the best of our ability and to the best of our strengths. When we look at other adults in a child's life, they can be helping out too. And so knowing that we're creating that community of connected people for those students, they're going to get different aspects of SEL, but we need to step up and do our part. So we don't have to do it all, but we need to do something. I also think that we need to lean into it because no one is perfect in all competencies all the time. So we need to be modeling our own SEL growth with people and understand that Dr. Maya Angelou says, “When you know better do better.”  I'm paraphrasing that, but I live by that quote in that we all make mistakes. And then we pick up and how are we going to show that we're doing better for ourselves and for the young people in our lives. 

Craig: Wow. When we know better, we do better. I think that that's a great way to close for today. Krista, thank you so much for just kind of opening up a little bit more today and just letting the world know just a couple of gems. Tthey're going to get so many more gems along the way. But you know, I recognize that some of my big takeaways from today's conversation are: One, it starts with you first. And just knowing that when you when do your work, the work will do what it needs to do for the rest of the world. And, two,  social, emotional learning really is just recognizing ma how you're managing your emotions. How are you building relationships? How are you making really good decisions on your behalf, on the behalf of the relationships that you're nurturing? And how are you then do modeling that out so that our young people know how to do this in a productive and positive way? If you understand more about who you are, you then can emulate the best parts of yourself. You can ascend into the light that you were destined for because each of us is on this planet for something greater than we can ever conceive, but it starts with the small stuff. And just knowing that we can love on one another in these small offerings and that's SEL. So I guess any more closing words, <laugh> amazing.

Krista: Thank you for being able to summarize all of that so powerfully.

Craig: Well, thank you. And so we are going to continue the conversation, young people. We're so glad that you all joined us for episode 2 of SELinEDU, and we are just going to you to remind you that you can stay in the light.