045: Reflections on Love, Learning, and the Legacy of a Year Unfolded with Craig and Krista

Not it.

What's going on? What's going on? What's going on, christa? It is our year in review. We're going to talk about the year of all things podcast, all things, christa and Craig and all that good stuff. How is your heart? How are you doing today?

My heart is amazing. My actual two pieces of my heart came home from college last night. One of them is currently sleeping in my office. The other one is over at his dad's and so, yeah, he was here last night, which was amazing, and he'll be sleeping until he actually has a haircut at 12 o'clock, so he'll be for lunch. So my heart is full right now. I get both of them until July 15th. Yes, yes, how is your today?

You know it is the winter holiday season. I just was reflecting on my childhood and growing up In New Orleans, louisiana, we're. You know today is the 20th of film, not mistaken of December. So I was thinking about like childhood nostalgia of Christmas tree is up Every place we're driving to, every radio station has holiday music and of course, new Orleans would have its own spin. So you get a little bounce, you get a little, you get some OJs, you get some solid night temptations. You get Michael Jackson, you know. You get Bonnie Ray, you get, you know, dolly Parton. Like. You get a wide spectrum of music from across, not to mention Zydeco Christmas, like the whole thing.

And I'm just sitting here thinking how much I miss and maybe I'm more in that time when things seem so simple, as a young person, as a little little little Craig running around Excited about Santa mysteriously coming through our house. We had a chimney, not the first in New Orleans. So I'm like how he going to get here through the sliding patio door? Like how does? How does sizeable mango cup and we baking cookies? Why we making cookies? Why we making some gumbo? So I'm just sitting here, you know, actually really thinking about that and just what does that represent for us today? That magic, that nostalgia and, you know, that joy.

Yeah, I love that you brought that up because I think about how quickly this year has gone. Some people me a while ago that the older you get, the shorter the year seem and like holy cow, how did we get here already? And I agree with you that, through the transitions of life, that that magic of the just holiday season and then getting to see it through the eyes of my own kids and now they're older, right, and so you know, this is the first time actually I have a mini tree. I decided not to have a full tree, I have a little mini tree and instead of presents this year, we're going on a trip next week because you know they don't really need anything, but I love it. I've seen you dancing. Yeah, I'm trying to contain myself because I love to travel. So we're going to Puerto Rico next week to see the bio luminescent bays, and so it's the magic of the season and, for me, just the magic of making memories.

Yeah.

And speaking of memories, I just need to because I'm so excited.

Let me take a sip, let me see where we going.

Oh, you know where I'm going with this Y'all. Craig is a married man. I'm married.

now I'm married. I'm going to be honest man. Now Somebody's making me.

So I think you, like you and Omari, take 2023. Like, yeah, like there's nothing better than like people in love who are like you're the one Like you're, you're it for me, and to see that celebration was just absolutely heartwarming and to see the joy on your faces was just incredible. So tell me, mr Aaron's Omari.

What did I?

say I need to edit that out. Oh, by the way, this is unedited now.

Yes, it is.

And. Aaron's Martin honey oh good, so we're going to have. Yeah, so tell me tell me.

So you know, talk about SEO right. We talk about social emotional learning and getting to a place where one you get confident and comfortable in your own skin as a human being who has made a decision that you want to partner right, and you're partnering with someone who is their own individual. They have had their own journey and stories and we somehow met right before the pandemic and created our own mini love story. The pandemic preserved something that I don't believe would have been possible outside of it. I don't think that we would have found each other and actually found ourselves together.

So four years now that we've been together in the wedding really was a celebration in our village, with you Parents, our you know grandparent and friends and loved ones and all who have nurtured us and nurtured this love through good thoughts, good well wishes, accountability, being present, showing up, breaking bread in many ways and really being mirrors for us in regards to the love we've received.

And I think that I'm grateful that we were able to have this celebration, because black queer men, today, in 2023, you're seeing more of us who are sharing our love story out in the ether, out in the world, and it's such a beautiful thing to see other men who have had this opportunity to do this, because for hundreds of years, decades, simply men who happen to have a love story with another man would jump the broom. They would be that friend at church. Where's your friend at? Not that's your husband, where's your friend at? We miss your friend or your friend do good in church. You know he's the director and knowing that, we're in an environment that feels more firming. However, that's not the context everywhere. There are still a lot of of us who still suffer in silence because their truth is not one that is absolutely a loved and affirmed and seen, and I'm grateful, deeply grateful, and I'm glad to you and your wonderful hubby were able to come and spend time with us.

Well, I wouldn't have missed it. I love Omari. He is the nicest, sweetest person in the two of you together. When we came up to do some work and we got to go out to dinner with you both, it was just so much fun to see your interactions and your joking around and just the obvious love and bond between the two of you, and I do really appreciate that you're able and willing to tell your story and put it out there, because there's so many people that need to know, like I'm not alone, I can open up, I have a community, I can find a community too, and I think the internet really helps with that, with connecting people in ways that it never did before. I really like that real quick. So you said you met right before the pandemic. Does that mean you got stuck together for that? Like you know, there's couples you're not like oh, we're either going to make it or we're not.

Yeah, so in theory, if it didn't work, then we would be, you know, in our perpetual corners of our world and keep it moving. But we made conscious decisions to visit each other and be in each other's place and space on each other. You know, on the weekends and sometimes there was a long weekend or not, but in the pandemic you didn't have anything else to do you couldn't really go far. So, and if you don't like somebody and there are some folks who are, who America, who go here right now, they're like oh, you know, it was great when I could walk out to do it and see you at six. We're now working together. This is a whole new. This is a new revelation. Child, I don't know we're going to make it.

And I remember hearing stories of people being like I just saw a whole new side of you, like I realized you were like this at work and not in a good or bad way. Just you know, we're all very multi-dimensional and so how we show up in different spaces isn't always, you know, it depends who we're around and what we're doing and what we're comfortable with, and so I think that that was interesting and I'm so glad that that was an opportunity for you both to flourish, because you're just a light. I mean, I know we talk about you know, be the light and you are a light. And so I'm really honored to have shared this time and space and that very special time and space with you both and your family, who are amazing.

Thank you. Thank you, it's a journey. It's a journey.

That was for me like one of the big highlights of 2023 for you. If you had to think of like another big highlight for you, like what would that be in 2023?

Well, I think that where I started to venture in my mind is just some of the conversations that we've had and would have been really impactful conversations, because we've talked to some incredible folks on the podcast. And I think about the conversations that still stay with me. I think about Shane Said, who we met I think it was Denver, I know it was like ASCD and we talked about being a flame and here you have this incredible soul. She is just an incredible educator. She's very inspirational. She's not just, she is even beyond and better in person than the like the person that we get the opportunity to see in social media. And here you have an instructional coach, a teacher leader, someone who is just really doing some powerful work.

And how I came away inspired by the emphasis of being a flame. And I think about other conversations with, like, dr Sheldon Aitkins, who that's my guy. He is just doing incredible work and equity. I think about Matthew Kay and Jennifer Orr, who talk about conversations of race, which was just stunning, stunning, stunning work that they're doing, and I'm glad that they have such a powerful partnership. And then I even think about the conversations that we had, interestingly enough, with oh gosh, I'm trying to think the duo, our core friends.

And Jane talk about joy and the integration of academics and social, emotional well being, and just they had me think about of the actual, the video that I posted yesterday on Facebook about me being being a principal and looking at me at that point in the students, in the culture and environment.

But I was hope I was able to help co create, because it's never just the leader who was doing that, but how I know that that happened. Because I love what I'm doing as a teacher and as a principal, love the work and when you feel the passion like it is uncontainable in regards to what you can do and how much your impact will set a blade across the lives of those who are in those spaces and spears. So like it was really great to really rethink, revisit those conversations in my mind, in my heart. So how about for you? I mean you've had quite the year as well, post doctor, you know, rest up. You know you've done so much of being all over the country this year and doing some incredible work, having some great conversations, leading the resonance ed movement, and you've done this even in places where it's been highly political and on fire and you still, you still disrupt anyway.

Thank you. Yeah, you know, I think when you have that core value or you have a mission and nothing deters you from that, you know, and interestingly, because SEL has gotten so politicized, it's really not when you strip away the politics. It's essential skills for life and there have been so many surveys done that. If you call them life skills or you say, hey, what do kids need to be successful in life these days, they're going to give you those skills that I call social, emotional learning. So they're really. It's just the, the name and the way that people think about it, and you know so. If you don't want to call it SEL and you call it life skills if you don't want, you know there's some schools that are like, well, we don't talk about belonging, we don't, but we know that that's essential for students and for for adults to thrive. So, even if you don't call it that, but that's what you're working towards because you know that's right, then go for it and I think keeping an eye on that is important. So we had some overlap there, like one of the first.

When I think about the podcasts and all those conversations we had, I think about Matt Kaye and Jen Orr as well, and I think about it from a student perspective, having been a high school teacher, and how I aspire to have the conversations that Matt has, where he facilitates it and the kids talk to each other. It's not a teacher driven classroom, and I think our great friend Jen demonstrates how that is very possible in a third grade classroom as well. You know, it's work with staff who are like Well, these, this is what we want to see in our students, and if that's what you want to see those skills we have to teach those skills and reinforce those skills and give students opportunities to practice, and so I think that the two of them really show what it, what can be done, what is possible and then how to make it a reality in your classroom. I also think about our dear friend, jessica Holloway and her self talk yes, so guilty of that.

I know what I tell other people and I know what that, that replay that goes on in my own head, and so I really try to think about using that for me and try to be kinder to myself. I also loved Dr Mike Webb's conversation around disruptive thinking and innovation because he set up and brought together some research that really shows us how we can have dialogue and learn from one another in a safe, respectful way. Some prompts to get us started in some fun activities, so that my dear friend Tom Stekker calls this potentiation that one in one doesn't equal two. It's like a million.

So it the beehive may have to come after him. Now, the beehive may come. Ha ha ha, ha ha ha. You messed with my song. No, it was Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yes, so it's. You know, when we work with each other, our learning is exponential, our growth is exponential. Let's see, oh, and Maureen and James have become such good friends since that podcast. Oh, I also think about Danny Chakarco, who is another dear friend and he really focuses on he's known as the Zen teacher and how we can bring more Zen into our lives and simplicity, and along those lines, we talked to Tammy Musiowsky and Christine Arnold about how to get simplicity in our lives and minimalism, not just in education but in our everyday living.

Oh, my goodness. And you know thinking about classroom practices too. We had Abby French she talked about how we release control in the classroom and Mike Anderson, who talked about, then, increasing engagement with students, like I could just go on and on. And when I think about like so my researcher qualitative brain was looking at all of our podcasts and I'm like we really had a big section that focused on belonging Belonging like strategies that teachers can use for students in the classroom, but then we also had a series around how educational leaders can facilitate belonging among adults.

Yes.

Yeah, and Sam Verano was here talking about that. Don Gaylord who came in and was speaking about exploring music and wellness and authenticity and leadership. Charlie Peck and Kam Caswell were talking about how to create that thriving environment, really kind of pulling apart some of the traditional ways we think about creating caring environments and new ways at it. We also had a lot of people who came on and talked about empowerment Empowerment for students, for ways of integrating SEL, for building rapport Dang, and that's pretty good for going in every other week podcast right.

We've done all right. We've done all right. We even had Sarah Thomas, who just won an award, yes Doing some incredible work on AI. Her Bonnie talked about it, Monica Burns talked about. So there's a technology we're talking how do we connect, how do we actually build, innovate through a human experience? And it was like each of them had some great conversation.

Yes, and I love, too that they took different levels, like, so, what you can do in your classroom, or what you can do to make your own prep and planning easier, and ways of connecting with other people, which I have to tell you real quick. Hearkening back to the marriage part, my husband and I will be married for three years tomorrow. All right, I'm not a numbers person, but I can remember 1221, right, okay.

But, we met through a dating app, which I think is hilarious, but we would never have met before, because he lives and grew up in South Philly and just our spheres are not the same, but we have the same values and we love to do the same things, and so, yeah, I'm very thankful for technology in my life.

Yeah, well, me and Amari met via Facebook dating, so there you go.

And I don't see. Why did I not know that before? Maybe I did and I just went, it's all good.

It is all good it's. I think it's really interesting that I believe that if it's, if it's destined, then it will happen. And so Facebook data is not one of those things that anyone has ever talked about and didn't know that it existed and so I didn't know. But I was like I have went through six others and this is the one that I'm gonna be doing Because it's like I'm tired now. All right, I'm gonna be single and out here serving drinks on somebody's island with coconut shells, like that's what I'm about to do because I'm tired. I'm tired now. I'm gonna wait for the mer-man to come up. I ain't got time.

So you're gonna laugh. But thinking about like that kind of waiting and like when is something going to happen and how do I do it brings me back again to our podcast pieces. Wait, like how is this gonna happen? What's the path? Like, do I sit around and wait for something to happen or do I go out there and give it one more shot, which I think is something that you and I both did and look, it worked for us.

And I think about some of the people who came on, like Tracy Herner, and was looking for like okay, what are some ways of tying all of these silos we have in education together and going from a kind of counseling background to teaching, to principalship, to district office and bringing that deciding one more like let's do this, this is the way I'm seeing it come together and I wanna be an active part of that.

So she talked about restorative practice and how that fits in with SEL and what you can do and what they're doing, instead of just sitting around like thinking that someone's gonna create something and put these pieces together for you. We had Ian Miller and Heather Bernie who were talking about you know what? We've got kids who are in silos in this large school and we're gonna create houses to connect them and build community. So they've talked about you know what. We're not gonna wait around for this to happen on its own. We're gonna take the initiative, and I think about Jason Ablin and Lisa Pepersatkin, who you know. Jason talked about the gender equation like how can we we can't sit around and wait for our young men to move forward in SEL and in academics and what can we do there? And I know you were the one who brought Lisa to us, mm-hmm.

Incredible. Yeah, lisa Dearhart met her via LinkedIn of all places, not to say the. Linkedin is not a great place, but an incredible, you know clinician, someone who creates brave community spaces for people to work through incredible hard work and empathy and more. She even sent us a game that I'm like I need you know. Now I'm a full-time consultant for those who this is gonna be a revelation to you so I stepped out of my full-time gig as a school leader and I was like I saw the game earlier this week as I'm cleaning up and I'm like, oh God, like I have not had a chance to play this game and so just knowing even the that play, you know bringing me full circle back to you know my nostalgia about Christmas.

You know, when people came over, you know you had the adults who was playing cards, you had the kids who were playing board games. You know at that time you could be playing. You know video games and stuff like that. But just the spirit of play, the competition, the community, the connections, the laughter, the folks who had a little snarl on their face because they're like, oh, I can't stand that person because they won. You know they won more than one time, or you know just those things, but the power of play as well, and Lisa reminds me that sometimes I need to continue to reignite, you know, that inner play, so you know that's what.

I'm talking about. Well, you know who. Craig Shapiro, who is his ed teacher, was also on talking about how he brings play into his classroom and Billy then infuses that with SEL right. So play is one of the ways that we connect with each other, that we have critical thinking and creative thinking and, you know, sometimes I feel that so much of our kids' lives is so structured that they don't necessarily have those opportunities for the open play. I know we also talked with Elizabeth Peterson and she was talking about the role of social, emotional learning and artistic classrooms and bringing in the arts into all of the classrooms, I should say, and she focused on play and even now in her Facebook group, she offers ways that kids can play and learn across different content areas.

Yeah, also reminds me of Amanda Kunlaba who from Mississippi, my friend, my southern friend, down doing a. Is it partying in the classroom? I think it is, but incredible artists and creative and educator. And I had the opportunity to work with Amanda, who also emerging leader, ased, even though I think her podcast was last year, but I still, you know, I still am burning for some of the great work that she's continued to do.

Yes, and she's been doing quite a bit of travel and presentation and really helping to expand people's understanding of SEL and what that can look like in the classroom and how to help kids thrive, which you're gonna remind me of. One more of our podcast guests we had Dr Henry Turner on, who is head leader up near you.

If I'm not mistaken, he's in there with you, yeah Well, and he was creating new pathways for kids to demonstrate their passions and different certifications that kids could graduate from, showcasing what their skills and passions and expertise are in new ways, which reminds me very much of how the arts provide opportunities for kids to demonstrate their growth and what's in their minds.

Yeah, we've had quite a cat.

Yeah, we have, and I'm so excited we're going into year three, mm-hmm, year three and you'll have to hold on, though, until for another week or two, until Craig and I tell you what your three will be bringing, because this is our period review. This isn't the like welcome to year three, so they're going to have to hang on for a little bit longer, just a little bit, they'll be fine. It'll be fine. You'll be too busy Celebrate the new year and they won't even be thinking of us.

Or they will, you know like when are we? Getting the next one. And you know we're going to keep on doing what we do.

Can I give a little hint, though, that we're still going to keep every other week of bringing you excellent, amazing leaders and what they're doing, but they're going to be hearing more from us on those other weeks, yeah.

Yeah, I think that that's, and I think it's important in this day and age.

I think that what I'm learning, as I not only think about our podcast, what I think about the many podcasts that I listen to in my day to day people are really thirsting for humanity.

They think for truth and authenticity. We're not, as I think that I know I get tired and exhausted with the avatars that we see pitched in social media and it seems like those folks, in my opinion, are putting on more than there is an opportunity to understand. Like, okay, well, what does real life feel like? So, when life is life in as an educator, as a clinician, as a social worker, as a principal, as a superintendent, as you know, dot, dot, dot, like how are you making it? What is the real heart work that is happening behind the scenes for folks who really are like this is your day to day experience, and that may be very much in conflict with what we may digest from, you know, ig and TikTok and more. So I think that it'll help to humanize the next year as we talk about a well-being of us as adults and someone I was watching, a, oh God, I want to give them credit Instead of doing an interview. We're doing an interview.

Oh, oh.

And I really think about how powerful that is, that we're really doing an interview of our humanity and how we can build and broaden relationships based on the inner view that we have. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we're going deep. We're going deep and I'm ready for this journey. I am, and I think it's important at least for me to say it is a journey, right, like we're not, I don't have it all together. I liked how you said well, life is lifeing, you know, and we're trying to adult. My son, who's still sleeping, before he went off the college, said to me I don't know if I'm ready to be the adult in my life. Yeah, I feel the same way. I'm trying to figure it out, but one of the things that I love is when you try to figure it out together with a community of people who lift you up and love you and can help you along that journey. So that's, that's our year three.

Yeah.

So they're going to have to check. In Two weeks the beginning of January, I believe it's January 3rd we're going to be releasing our intro to your three of SEL and you, yes look forward to it. We need the official Craig sign off because all, right all right staple.

All right, sel and EDU family, we are grateful to you. We are still standing, we're still moving forward because of you, and this winter season is holiday season. For some of us, it's an incredible time of connection and fellowship and fun and frolic. For some of us, it's really tough season because it may have been lost. It's just really tough because you don't feel as connected to the loved ones you feel you need. But regardless of whether or not it's a or B or C or X, we want you to hold yourself dear and we are here for you and we want you to make sure you keep on holding on to that heart real tight, and we're going to love you through all these podcasts and we want you to continue to stand in a light. We love you and we will see you in 2024, baby, thank you.